Graphics for New Years Comments
Here are some dysfunctional parenting tips for the New Year!
Kids make excellent shoplifters and beggars.
Say yes, then no... then yes... then no again... then, a little later, yes...then no again.
Promise them, "After the game we'll get ice cream.... if you win."
If the preschool teacher, the kindergarten teacher, the first-grade teacher, the Principal and the school psychologist all identify the same problem with your child, change schools.
Mark their height an inch lower each year and tell them they are shrinking.
When they bring home artwork, use it as a coaster.
Kids don't understand anything you say before they are five years old.
What the School Evaluation Says... It Really Means
Spirited...Annoying
Careful...Wimp
thoughtful...Crybaby
Energetic...In need of medication
Confident...Obnoxious
Gifted...Social Outcast
Content...Boring
Social... Slutty
Charming...The next Charles Manson
Ryan got this Official Guide as a White Elephant gift this Holiday. I just felt I should share this advice with all of you....since I have nothing better to do.
4 comments:
These are some quality tips Jamie, thank you. You want to know another QUALITY parenting moment? Letting a 13 year old play football with 3 fractures,taking him to the chiropracter & loading him up on ibuprofen . . .for the whole season! I'm saving all my quality parenting tips for my own book someday!
Jamie, you made me laugh out load this morning... love the one about changing schools because of a dianosis... has to be the psy.. in me. :0) Thanks for the smile this morning. I always appriciate these!
take care!
crystal
Those made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.
Great tips!
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